Daily Weird News Report
Laurie Anderson’s Secret Manuscript Will Stay Unread Until 2114
Artist Laurie Anderson has been chosen as the 13th contributor to Oslo’s Future Library, a project that seals one new manuscript each year for 100 years. Her work will remain inaccessible for 88 years, alongside texts by writers including Margaret Atwood and Han Kang.

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Kalshi Gives George Santos Lifetime Ban Over Self-Related Bets
Prediction-market platform Kalshi has permanently suspended former congressman George Santos and fined him $71,356 after regulators accused him of profiting from bets connected to his attendance at Donald Trump’s State of the Union address.

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Creator Claims He Swapped Pittsburgh’s Famous Star Wars Vending Machine
A Pepsi machine outside a Pittsburgh fire station disappeared and was replaced with a crude replica. A social media creator later claimed he removed the original, saying he would return it if questions about a reported $10,000 Pepsi donation were answered.

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Daughter Says Caregiver Took Parkinson’s Patient’s Home for $5
A Baltimore woman says her father’s caregiver transferred his South Carolina home to herself before his death, then failed to tell the family for days. The daughter discovered the transfer after driving to check on him and finding the house renovated, repainted orange and occupied by the caregiver’s belongings.
